Shackled to Internet Communication

There's a common thread in thinking Out There. It's the idea that email is intravenous - an irritating byproduct of Modern Society. It may be the influx of smartphones (that's another blog for another day) but many, many people simply presume that "sent = know".

"When did you discuss this?"
"Yesterday. We all did."
"Who's we?"
"You know, the whole group. But you."
"That's not a 'we'. That's still a 'you'."
"Well, I sent out the message."
"This was with email? That's not discussion!"
"Everyone replied."
"But me."
"But you. So... 7:00pm at your house still good?"

I am a huge fan of technology, but there are limits to my fandom. I reflect on a phrase I had read somewhere that the invention of the lightbulb was fantastic... but it increased the workday.

Therefore, we are doing it again: the development of internet communication is incredible... oh the glory of mutually edited googledocs, the fiery creation of national uprisings... but it shortchanges the heart of human communication: face to face talking.  This, in turn, encourages the rise of 'social avoidance' which is mirrored in online gamer attacks ('flaming' - or annoying or harassing - an online citizen... which you'd never do in RL - real life), sexting (unleashing your inner perv) and online bullying, which can be between tweens or among so-called adults who are stalking their ex on Facebook.

I am cheered by the moments when one of my Sanity Soldiers (close friends who protect me against dissolving into tears about the fate of humankind) remarks that when sending out an email less than a few days in advance of the event, it's very important to make a phone call. Even if I don't answer, at least I have a voicemail from someone who took a minute to ensure that I checked my email.

Although it's not the same as face-to-face, it's our twenty-first century equivalent, and I'll take it.

Secondary Reader Gets Second Chance

My daughter is not as voracious a reader as her brother. Having a titan of a reader for an older brother did not prepare me for the wild and woolly path of the "reluctant reader" (as if a child was fearful of the words on a page) or (another term I dislike) the "emerging reader" (like a worm).  My daughter is all fire and spit and if given the choice between a basketball and a book... well, she's out there shooting hoops. 

Certainly she was a little slower in the phonics department comparatively. She had an outstanding kindergarten teacher who recognized early my daughter's penchant for numbers and encouraged her to read outside of school. As a younger mom who had no problem with her first born son reading in preschool, I figured it would all come in time. Little did I know that a year later, my daughter would still have trouble forming sentences from words.

Vacation - and Life Wisdom... in one weekend!

My delightful husband suggested we stay at the Westin Hotel in San Diego, and I happily agreed. Last summer, my husband was unable to join us at on a planned vacation stay at this same luxurious hotel, and the two kids and myself created many happy (and scary -- lost GPS signal, lost cell phone, found cell phone, where's our underwear? ) memories.

We stayed and decided that although it was a bit tight on our budget this time, the NEXT time we stay at San Diego, we will stay at the Westin (or thereabouts) and definitely use SD's mass transit system. Two reasons: economical (it costs minimum $25.00 overnight for parking... 4 days = 100 bucks, but $5 for an all day pass) and guess what? All that walking around tires out the kids a LOT, so that makes for restful bedtimes.

The Westin is within a 15 minute walking distance of the famous pier area, we saw the ships' museum, and we didn't see (but it was a five minute walk!) the contemporary art museum; we cruised and ate within the Gaslamp district, and Little Italy (real Italian pizza is GROSS).

My daughter had a few fits about things. I belatedly realized it was because she wanted everything to be SO perfect (so IMPOSSIBLY perfect) that every suggestion I made (the beach, a gift shop) was a PROMISE and a HUGE crying disappointment if we ran out of time.

Line in the Sand

I get so frustrated with adults (it's usually adults, never young people) who assume that other adults (meaning people like me) have to coerced, threatened, badgered, paid or otherwise harrassed to do "something". For example, attend a meeting, donate time or money. Listen. Or read. Whatever. I prefer to be asked or invited. As if you believed I was worth the time it takes to be courteous to me. If I cannot, I will tell you. And you, you will be gracious and polite and suggest perhaps another time would be better. I will agree as well. And we will both move on.

At a  recent meeting, it was suggested that parents could be "made" to attend a parents' meeting by demanding they pick up their child's report card at the meeting. This is the assumption that parents are not interested in their child's welfare until you threaten them. I still believe that many parents are extremely busy and sometime pulled in multiple directions. Work. Volunteerism. Homework. Sports. Clubs. Grocery shopping. Paying bills. Visiting family. Cleaning house. All of this takes time, and I don't like to live in a sty (not that my home is perfect) and quiet time is necessary for me to re-charge (not that I get much).

I like a little notice about a meeting, at least two weeks' time if possible.  I'd like the purpose to be stated without a "threat" (you won't get your child's report card OR you'll be penalized in some fashion). I have to arrange babysitters... I have to think if this will impact my child's time in homework.. my grocery plans.. my dinner plans... everything. It's not about just "drop the kids off" (where? where?) and come to the meeting.
My husband usually works until 7pm each night. It's just not going to happen without a little planning...

People. Please. Get. Real. Ask. And then... retreat with grace, if denied.