Tradition Rears Its Ugly Head

Children create traditions out of anything. If you serve them ice cream on Friday once, it becomes Ice Cream Friday. If you hug them before you send them to bed, they moan “Where’s the hug?”  the next night. What if you go to the beach on the Fourth of July?

Or if you buy them a candy bar while grocery shopping? These events or items quickly become the special treat or memory they are entitled to, until you can argue successfully that it’s only on certain days or times or paydays. Relatives can drop by and the movie plans are scrapped, a tire blows and the money for Pizza Night gets sucked into car repairs, etc. Children do not like inconsistency, so it’s a tough battle sometimes to get them understand that “things happen”. 

Occasionally, though, it’s also true that adults fall into a rut of maturity that begs “things happen… so give in, just ‘go with the flow’”. This resolution is an adult rite because we tacitly agree that we have no control anyway. It makes us adults a little pathetic and useless in the imagination department. Yet, recently, my son reminded me recently that there’s a yin to that yang.

My son woke up late on a Saturday when I was organizing a speech tournament for our school.  He felt bad about that, so he guiltily helped me at the tournament.  This emotion, I think, was the seed of despair which exploded later in the day.

Shackled to Internet Communication

There's a common thread in thinking Out There. It's the idea that email is intravenous - an irritating byproduct of Modern Society. It may be the influx of smartphones (that's another blog for another day) but many, many people simply presume that "sent = know".

"When did you discuss this?"
"Yesterday. We all did."
"Who's we?"
"You know, the whole group. But you."
"That's not a 'we'. That's still a 'you'."
"Well, I sent out the message."
"This was with email? That's not discussion!"
"Everyone replied."
"But me."
"But you. So... 7:00pm at your house still good?"

I am a huge fan of technology, but there are limits to my fandom. I reflect on a phrase I had read somewhere that the invention of the lightbulb was fantastic... but it increased the workday.

Therefore, we are doing it again: the development of internet communication is incredible... oh the glory of mutually edited googledocs, the fiery creation of national uprisings... but it shortchanges the heart of human communication: face to face talking.  This, in turn, encourages the rise of 'social avoidance' which is mirrored in online gamer attacks ('flaming' - or annoying or harassing - an online citizen... which you'd never do in RL - real life), sexting (unleashing your inner perv) and online bullying, which can be between tweens or among so-called adults who are stalking their ex on Facebook.

I am cheered by the moments when one of my Sanity Soldiers (close friends who protect me against dissolving into tears about the fate of humankind) remarks that when sending out an email less than a few days in advance of the event, it's very important to make a phone call. Even if I don't answer, at least I have a voicemail from someone who took a minute to ensure that I checked my email.

Although it's not the same as face-to-face, it's our twenty-first century equivalent, and I'll take it.

Secondary Reader Gets Second Chance

My daughter is not as voracious a reader as her brother. Having a titan of a reader for an older brother did not prepare me for the wild and woolly path of the "reluctant reader" (as if a child was fearful of the words on a page) or (another term I dislike) the "emerging reader" (like a worm).  My daughter is all fire and spit and if given the choice between a basketball and a book... well, she's out there shooting hoops. 

Certainly she was a little slower in the phonics department comparatively. She had an outstanding kindergarten teacher who recognized early my daughter's penchant for numbers and encouraged her to read outside of school. As a younger mom who had no problem with her first born son reading in preschool, I figured it would all come in time. Little did I know that a year later, my daughter would still have trouble forming sentences from words.

Vacation - and Life Wisdom... in one weekend!

My delightful husband suggested we stay at the Westin Hotel in San Diego, and I happily agreed. Last summer, my husband was unable to join us at on a planned vacation stay at this same luxurious hotel, and the two kids and myself created many happy (and scary -- lost GPS signal, lost cell phone, found cell phone, where's our underwear? ) memories.

We stayed and decided that although it was a bit tight on our budget this time, the NEXT time we stay at San Diego, we will stay at the Westin (or thereabouts) and definitely use SD's mass transit system. Two reasons: economical (it costs minimum $25.00 overnight for parking... 4 days = 100 bucks, but $5 for an all day pass) and guess what? All that walking around tires out the kids a LOT, so that makes for restful bedtimes.

The Westin is within a 15 minute walking distance of the famous pier area, we saw the ships' museum, and we didn't see (but it was a five minute walk!) the contemporary art museum; we cruised and ate within the Gaslamp district, and Little Italy (real Italian pizza is GROSS).

My daughter had a few fits about things. I belatedly realized it was because she wanted everything to be SO perfect (so IMPOSSIBLY perfect) that every suggestion I made (the beach, a gift shop) was a PROMISE and a HUGE crying disappointment if we ran out of time.